Have you ever struggled with self-confidence?
When I was growing up I didn’t know what self-confidence was. I would even say that I only began to understand what it meant to have confidence when I was around 22 years old..
I saw other people and automatically wanted what they had. I focused on what I didn’t have rather than the qualities I already possessed. I would go along with things that made me uncomfortable, give in to peer pressure, considered myself a “type A” people pleaser, and I would do things to look “cool” rather than being me.
Looking back, I would even try to fit into clothes and trends that were completely not me. My parents would try to nudge me in the better direction, tell me how great I looked when I had outfits on that truly showed my better qualities and more. I never listened.
This turned into a major battle in my head to find confidence. Because if you don’t believe in yourself, who’s going to?
Today I ran through a few journal prompts about confidence and I was blown away by my reaction and answers. I’ve always known how crazy it sounds to do the things I listed above, but to rewire and see how far I’ve come is what shook me most.
Today I am a woman that understands how much more powerful it is to work with what you have and feed your OWN traits. Is it an uncomfortable journey? Yes. Absolutely. But it’s worth every ounce of effort put into it.
What did I do to change my mindset? I made a list:
1. Face the facts: Something I told myself a few years back was that I shouldn’t be forcing myself into something that doesn’t feel right. Yes, that sounds obvious but think about it in a way of re-molding your mind into a new way of thinking.
For example; every time I would go into a change room to try on clothes I would ask myself, is this truly me?? Did I see this on someone else and want it? Is my ego getting involved? Why do I think this looks good on me? Does it fit MY body type??
Not going to lie this was hard. That’s why I call it “facing the facts”, because showing up as your truest self and not giving in to the bombarding social constructs, the pressure, the pain of possibly not fitting in is tough.
2. Put in the work: “All confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence. Those people you know who radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, have acquired their confidence, every bit of it.”
When you turn your mind on autopilot what will it do? Will you wake up early, will you get your workout in, will you do things that are GOOD for you? Or will you turn to the easier route that may lead to a negative outcome?
This is where the hard part comes in. Making sacrifices that will better your life. YOU have the ability to change your mind self but are you up for the task?? Understanding that you have to re-wire your mind to a new way of thinking and setting time aside to better yourself is huge. This may mean that you skip out on the party you promised to go to because you promised YOURSELF that you would get up early to go for a run. See what I’m trying to get at here??
The promise you make to YOURSELF is a whole lot more important than the promises you make to others that may not understand what’s best for you.